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Blue-Eyed Boy
Everyone who vaguely follows such things knows that The Daily Telegraph's pseud-in-chief Henry Winter has quite a thing for Jack Rodwell.

We were therefore bracing ourselves for the gushing praise that would no doubt spout from his quill after Rodwell's perfectly adequate performance for England. Which is fine - the lad did a decent job.

However, the fly in the ointment was obviously that pesky open goal he missed. The glorious, obvious, gaping chance he was given on a plate and spurned. How would Henry deal with that?

Like this: 'Rodwell stole the midfield show, shining between the boxes, making tackles and chances, even threatening to score himself.'

Smashing work. One man's missed sitter is another man's 'threatening to score'.